Have you ever found yourself scrolling through social media, looking at someone who has everything you want—success, influence, confidence—and thinking, They have something I don’t? You’re not alone. Many of us unconsciously put others on pedestals, creating an illusion that they are superior, more gifted, or simply luckier. But what if the very thing we think makes someone “better” than us is just a construct we’ve built in our minds? Breaking free from comparison starts with recognizing that these illusions only hold power if we let them.

In today’s fast-paced digital world, we are constantly exposed to highlight reels—polished versions of people’s lives that leave out struggles, failures, and imperfections. This fuels what psychology calls upward social comparison, a theory developed by Leon Festinger in the 1950s. It describes our natural tendency to evaluate ourselves against those we perceive as more successful or accomplished. And while comparison isn’t inherently bad, it often leads to self-doubt, inadequacy, and a distorted sense of our own value. Breaking free from comparison means recognizing that these highlight reels don’t define your worth and stepping into your own power.

The Illusion of Hierarchy

One of the biggest myths we buy into is that success creates a hierarchy. We think that bestselling authors, viral influencers, or accomplished entrepreneurs exist on a different level than us. The truth? There is no “better” or “higher”—only different stages of growth and different lived experiences.

When we place others above us, we not only diminish our own worth but also miss opportunities for connection, collaboration, and mentorship. The reality is, the people we admire are human. They have fears, failures, and insecurities, just like us. Social media, however, obscures this truth by presenting a curated version of reality.

Shifting Your Perspective: Looking Forward, Not Up

Instead of looking up at others with admiration mixed with self-doubt, start looking forward—toward your own path, your own growth, and your own next steps. Here’s how you can break free from upward social comparison and start seeing yourself as an equal to those you admire:

1. Shoot Your Shot – If someone inspires you, reach out. Whether it’s inviting a dream guest onto your podcast, networking with someone you respect, or applying for an opportunity that feels just out of reach, take the leap. The worst they can say is no—and every no brings you closer to a yes.
2. Recognize Your Own Value – If you’re constantly pedestalizing others, ask yourself: Would I ever place someone beneath me? If the answer is no, then why place anyone above you? We all bring unique skills, wisdom, and experiences to the table.
3. Express Silent Gratitude – When you see someone achieving something you desire, instead of feeling lesser, take a moment to silently thank them for paving the way. Their success is proof that your dreams are possible too.
4. Reflect on Your Growth – Take time to acknowledge how far you’ve come. Journal about where you were a year ago, five years ago. You may realize you are already living in an answered prayer.

The Truth About Success: There Is No “There”

If you believe that one day you’ll reach a place where you feel fully confident, accomplished, and whole—think again. The people you look up to? They’re still looking forward, still working toward their next goal, still figuring things out. There is no final destination where everything clicks into place. The key to success is breaking free from comparison and recognizing your worth right now, in this moment.

Want to dive deeper into this topic? Listen to the full episode of our podcast, where we break down the traps of comparison, share real-life stories, and give actionable tips on shifting your mindset. Tune in and start today!

Ready to Meet Your Most Powerful and Authentic Self?

Experience deep transformation at a future Women’s Retreat!

If you’re ready to take a powerful step away from comparison and into your fullest self, consider joining us for a transformational experience at one of our upcoming Women’s Retreats. These retreats are your chance to unplug from the noise, step away from daily roles, and reconnect with yourself on a deeper level. You’ll learn and get certified in the Japanese healing art of Reiki, break through the barriers holding you back, and step into a more authentic, radiant version of yourself. It’s an opportunity to tune into your intuition, develop your spiritual and psychic gifts, and deepen your connection with yourself. No distractions, no filters—just you, fully present and fully seen. Learn more about our upcoming retreats HERE or message Samantha on Instagram (@samantha.bove) with the word “RETREAT.”

So, what’s one bold step you can take this week to dismantle the hierarchy in your mind? Maybe it’s reaching out to someone you admire, finally starting that creative project, or simply acknowledging that you are enough as you are.

Remember, no title, accolade, or number of followers defines your worth. Your power lies in showing up fully as yourself, knowing that you are already valuable, already capable, already worthy.

Now go out and take up space—you were never “too much.” You were always exactly enough.

Join us on a future retreat and reclaim your power.

PS: You can read about the amazing transformation stories from past retreat attendees HERE.